A Thing Called Relationship

After enjoying a weird week with a weird friend with a lot of weirdness, well, my life is back to normal. The goal is within sight now.

People always complain me of being different from them and see me differently. I wasn't born different, I chose to be different. I have tried but couldn't get along with people. They called me an ‘introvert’. I accepted it.

I was never able to stay with one group of people. So, no one cared for me. I was stereotyped. People just saw parts of me and assumed I was like this and like that. They didn't know that what I showed them was what they deserved and not what I am.

Why should I blame myself for not being able to cope up with the crowd?

I am not wrong. The whole crowd is wrong. Yes, I know that I don't talk superlative, cool stuff. I don't go to parties, I don't dance. So, I am that obnoxious little nerd. You call me anything, I don't give a shit. The truth is I am bored of these people and I cannot be one of them.

 They tell you must compromise on a few things to maintain a healthy relationship (read it as all relationships, not just with a girl!). I want to do the things I like. Why should I compromise? I live my life, not their's. Yes! Now I was called stubborn. The world has a hundred opinions about you. If you react to each of them, you just lose hundred chances to make your life awesome.

  This weirdness in me was the main reason to not have a stable relationship with anyone. I had discrete relationships all my life (So far!). I was never able to gel with the ‘normal’ people (funny they call themselves normal!). This made me wander from one ethnicity to another. People called me a ditcher. I smiled and replied, yes I am.

 It is always important to balance the logical and emotional quotients in us. I don’t believe in fairy tales. We abuse a friend and respect a boss. Technically, heart trusts a friend and abuses a boss.

Love a girl but marry her if you are logically satisfied with her. I might be sounding rude but these are the lessons I have learnt from married people :P

 Parents are always our caretakers and might influence our lives to a great deal. It is sometimes required for us to go towards what we want than what they want. My mother always wanted me to be in the safe path. If I had chosen that path, I could have not been where I am today and she graciously accepts this fact.

 And finally to summarize, I never got along with my friends and never listened to my parents. This turned out to be my normal self but abnormal to others.

 An opportunity comes in everyone's life which decides our future. A few realize it but let it go; rest of them never realizes it. There are the other “select few” who realize and leave their comfort zone to chase their dreams.

 I was quick to recognize this opportunity (As I shared in Goal- The story of my life). Now, the next question was how to pursue it. Google cannot answer everything. I remembered one of the famous quotes.

 “If you don't work towards your dream, you will have to work to fulfill someone else's”.

 This statement mocked me every day. I felt helpless many times. I reached a lowest point wherein I presumed it's better to work for someone else and find happiness rather than worry every now and then. This is the time when we think of family and friends. It hurt me more now than ever. I hated myself for not maintaining a good relationship with my friends and for not following the safe path my mother made for me.

 A few months passed and I regretted for few things I had done and for the most things I hadn't done. If you leave hope in your life, even the hope doesn't hope for you. 

 Then a thought passed my mind. Of course a stupid thought. My brain had long back given up the art of thinking creative things. I wanted to find a good life partner to achieve my dreams. Yes, you can laugh at this stupid thought :P. I dated a few girls who were more bothered about make up and flowers rather than goals and dreams. I spent more time talking but not executing ideas. Well, the talks weren't great either. A few conversations are listed below.

She: The weather is very romantic; we must go for a walk in the park.

Me: It might rain, it's better to stay indoors.

She: Weekend J J. We will go for a movie and then dinner.

Me: Listen to this awesome idea!! This venture will surely work…

She: You are so disappointing.

She: Today is favorite color day. Which color do you choose?

Me: Red.

She: Nice J J. Bring me red roses.

Me: You meant color day right and not flower day?

She: I hate you, you are a nerd.

 It was disastrous. I tried hard, everything failed. Maybe, it was meant to fail. I learnt a lesson; wife is a liability if you choose the wrong one.

 The black days continued. My desperation had no meaning and I started living my life in hostility.

 As is always the case with Gods, they appear after the man has lost all hope and has decided to ignore everything in life, this happened in my life too. Yes, the Gods came but the weird ones. These weird ones were just as weird as me. They make you feel one of them. They share the same weirdness and thoughts as you have. You really cannot fight with them, how can you fight with yourself?

  I met a guy who taught me how to get over failures. Rather he taught me how to enjoy failures. He's the silent guardian the world deserves but doesn't need. Because the world doesn't know it needs him. I generally don't get motivated by anyone. He is one of the few who can motivate me. We met only once in person but meet regularly online. The insights we share have been very helpful to me (maybe to him also). It makes a lot of sense to meet the right kind of people and enter into the right relationship. No, I am not gay with him. We share a common mindset, the weird mind set. This keeps us going.

 This weird guy introduced me to another weird person, a weird girl. We formed a team called Southern Scouts (I didn't try to find out why he named it so). She has been very instrumental in understanding me and guiding me in the right direction. She’s basically a busy girl but doesn't mind sparing some time for the people she cares. She calls herself the mad hatter (for reasons known only to her :P). Did I reveal too much?

Anyway, she is the secret person who is working for my success.

 I thank these two people and many others who have molded my life. The seed is sowed and now is the time for the plant to grow.

Final note:

 

The point is I am into the right kind of relationship, the weird relationship. Everything happens in life for a reason. There’s nothing wrong in getting disappointed. We must fall to learn to pick ourselves up. I know it sounds very weird to talk about weirdness right after posting an article about how Weirdness Makes Life Beautiful. After all it was a weird week, wasn't it?

(If you didn't get it, go back to the first line J) 

Weirdness Makes Life Beautiful!!

                                   

There is weirdness in this world and that's what brings awesomeness to our lives. I have always loved weird things. Anything that deviates from the mundane life makes us feel special. Life almost comes to a standstill once we start working.

When I was a kid, I kept wondering why dad does the same things when he returned from office. Isn't he bored doing the same thing again and again everyday?

 Today, I am not intrigued at this fact. Life is same 24*7, week after week. This same job, same problems and very few friends make up our life.

 A decade would be over, once we start realizing the things happening around us. During this boring journey, small but beautiful memories bring cheers to our lives. It's better to find happiness in every small thing we do or perish regretting for the lost time.

A smile by a total stranger or a kid waving at you, or a surprise gift by an old friend is the moments that add joy and fun. I will try to recollect a few memories and bring a smile on your beautiful face. Enjoy reading.

1)      I always had doubts about many things since childhood and didn't know where to find answers; over time I got answers to a few. And a few of those few are here.

a)      Can we fly?

A: Yes, in a plane.

b)      Is love at first sight possible?

A: Yes, depends on where you look at.

c)       When does a boy become a man and a girl a woman?

A: When someone tells him/her.

d)      What is the weight of soul?

A: the difference in weight of the body when alive and dead.

e) Why are human beings so stupid?

A: Law of nature, to balance the intelligence of other creatures.

2)      I was waiting for a friend in a mall and two kids (possibly siblings) were playing. One of them came to me.

                           

Kid: Shall we play a game?

Me: sure.

Kid: You can ask me two questions and I will ask you only one question, that’s the game.

Me: Sure

Kid: No cheating! You ask first.

The kid was around 10 years old. I thought it was time for little fun.

Me: I have 3 apples. How can we divide it equally?

Kid: We will take one each and give the remaining one to my sister.

I looked around, no one was watching. (My internal voice: Stupid Sai, what is this?)

Me: That was good. Are you ready for next one?

Kid: Yes.

Me: How many people are in this mall?

Kid: 2300.

Me: How do you know?

Kid: Go and count if you want. It’s my turn to ask now.

Me: Fine. Ask anything!! (If he can act smart, I can act smarter!!!)

Kid: okay, give me 100 Rupees.

3) This incident happened when I had been to a neighboring state for a paper presentation. The day ended satisfactorily and we were accommodated in an on campus hostel. It was around 1 am and I was finding it very hard to sleep (I always find it hard- read Sleepless Nights). I looked at my friends, they were in deep sleep, and I was restless. I tried waking them up, no one gave a care. I went near the window.

There were a group of people playing music and singing songs. They looked like a local crowd. I went out of the hostel and stood at a distance from them, my shadow falling on the street. One of the girls was quick to notice and waved at me. I waved back and went to them.

I introduced myself and joined them. They continued with their, so called music. That was funny, I couldn't understand a word. The same girl noticed my plight and asked me if I know to play badminton.

We went to the indoor stadium, there were a few people playing there. The indoor stadium was a small one compared to my college. We found an empty court and started playing. She started the conversation.

She: I heard the girls in Bangalore are hot?

Me: Maybe, if I knew the definition of what you mean by ‘hot’. Anyway, I prefer the cute ones.

She: Haha.

The girls just know how to start a conversation and not how to continue:-P or is it that they pretend so?

Me: I haven’t heard of any hot guys here!

She: Haha.

Well, what to decipher from her laughs. She hit a smash.

She: Looks like the Bangalore kid lost concentration. Haha

Me: Haha. Haha... stop this non sense, wasn't this supposed to be a casual game?

She: well, yeah. Anyway, what’s your name? I couldn't hear over then with drum sounds.

Me: Sai. And what’s yours?

She: Serendipity.

Me: oh, come on.

She: Haha. I like pulling your leg.

Me: You don’t even know me.

She: You don’t know me either.

Me: so you are serendipity. What a nice name.

She: Haha.

Well, this girl was no different. I wondered if all girls are like this or is it that only I run into girls of this sort.

She: Sai?

Me: Yes. Serendipity! (I felt myself stupid calling her by this name)

She: Don’t you think it’s very weird of both of us meeting here, having never met before and playing in the midnight.

Me: I find nothing weird. I was awake, heard you people making noise. Err; playing music and so came down, now we are here.

She: Yes maybe. But it was nice meeting you

Me: of course. It must be. You had all the fun.

She: So have you watched the movie?

Me: which movie?

She: Serendipity. Haha.

This time I couldn't control the laughter.

Me: Yes, I have seen the movie and one of my favorites.

She: Actually I saw you in the canteen today during lunch and was surprised to see you here again and so I called my name so.

Well these are the few memories which last with me forever, the kid and the girl whose names I don’t know are the ones to whom I dedicate this post to.

Note to the Apple kid and the Serendipity girl: If at all you read this blog at any point of time in your life, I’ll be blessed to meet you again.

Flirtation Vs Admiration

    A few days back, I was arguing about this topic with a couple of friends and then it stuck to me that there are hundreds of…. Well, thousands of guys like me wrongfully accused of flirting and who want to get rid of the tag ‘Flirt’. We are from mars and so pride matters a lot. Sometimes, people confuse defending oneself with proving the other person wrong.

My interest for girls dates back to school days (as acknowledged in the moment of truth- part 1). This made my parents happy (The point that I was straight:-D). And I enjoyed each bit of it. Little did I know that I would be soon be called a flirt! Over then, it was the most coveted title. As years passed, this was perceived wrongly by many people. The characteristic which was once considered a matter of pride is now close to disgrace. Time passed and I entered college. I had to suppress this quality before it could turn into a disaster. First year passed without any flutters.

Second year arrived and the juniors were too cool to resist. I spoke to them, made memories, enjoyed every bit of the time with them. And then what went wrong? Well, I did this with not one girl but many girls and soon my name climbed up the charts. I analysed and failed. There had to be a deduction which I failed to conceive. No one is born flirt:-P, It’s the circumstances which define a person to flirt/fall in love/admire/respect or whatever feelings you develop towards him/her. Anyway that’s not what I want to discuss but the point is was I really flirting? This question bogged me for a long time and I slowly started accepting this misnomer.

And then the next question was if I am a flirt, how I could fall in love with a girl and like her more than any other girl. This truly cannot be the characteristic of a flirt. This fact relieved me. And then my research continued. I started with the dictionary meaning of various misconceptions. Top 3 are given below.

1)      Flirtation: Playful behaviour to arouse sexual interest. (Oh god, No!!)

2)      Admiration: A feeling of delighted approval and liking. (Maybe, yeah!)

3)      Infatuation: A foolish and usually extravagant passion, love. (Nope)

This put to rest that I wasn’t a flirt. But now how do I prove this to everyone. I prepared a questionnaire and took the answers of a flirt and an admirer. This made the things a little easy!

1)      When you first see a girl, what strikes you?

F: Her figure.

A: Her personality.

2)      Will you look at her eyes when you are having a conversation with a girl?

F: Ha ha, No. There are other areas of interest.

A: Yes, of course.

3)      Well, you are talking to a girl and your girlfriend passes by. What will you do?

F: I will try to hide or disappear.

A: I will introduce my girlfriend to this girl.

4) So a girl has uploaded a profile picture. What’s you reaction?

F: I will be the first one to comment and it will be out of the world.

A: I might just like the picture.

5) And finally, how long does your relationship last?

F: Maybe a few days, utmost a month.

A: As long as we like each other’s company.

Another hundred questions can be asked and answered. That’s not the point. It is not necessary that our thinking should always match with a guy. It sometimes happens such that a person might find it more comfortable talking to another person of opposite sex who is not a friend or lover but just whom you admire. This fact must be respected and not blown out of proportion. This also doesn’t mean that I’ll fall in love with every girl I see.

At the end of the day, what matters is being true to our conscience and not bother about what others think.

What Will Others Think?

Well, this is exactly what I was wondering when I started to pen this article. I had to take a few weeks off from writing as I moved to a new place and was busy getting used to the vicinity. Of course, I did make a lot of memories and will write about them soon.

The door is open, get out, you will make memories. Stay inside, you will read about them.

In my younger days, I had no limit to my imagination. I lived in a limitless world. Dreams had no boundaries and I never cared about the opposite views which the world had. I lost my school elections twice but it never deterred me from contesting again. Maybe, I would have contested again if I had lost the third time too but I won. Winning was the only thought in my head and nothing else.

If the same failures had happened now. Over the first time, I would have been upset. Second time, I would have felt embarrassed and would have not even thought of third time. The main difference I found in either of the cases was I never gave a damn about the world in the first case and was more concerned about others than myself in the second case.

The innocence in us remains forever. It is not that we have innocence when we were kids and it fades out as we grow up. Kids don’t let the innocence to be affected by the external world. As we grow up, this innocence is controlled by the external world. We slowly start doing what others want and less of what we like during this ‘grow up’ phase. It can be stated that we have started living this life for the sake of others and not us.

Parents decide what course to be taken in college, girl friend decides what to be eaten and finally we end up regretting their choices.

These questions bog me down every now and then.

Don’t I have a life and isn’t it me who should be calling the shots?

Instead of trying to impress others, why not impress myself?

Instead of trying to make others lives awesome, why not try to make my own awesome?

There was just one answer I could come up with for all the above questions.

The answer is SATISFACTION.

We do everything for our satisfaction or for the satisfaction of others. I feel this is the purpose of our life. In this quest of satisfaction, we take up different routes (Good, bad and both) and end up getting satisfied by our endeavors or regret the choices we made.

In this journey of self righteousness, A incident enlightened me to look at life from a different perspective, a better perspective.

I met this gentleman a couple of years ago. It was during my first business trip. He was a operator in one of the production departments in a manufacturing plant. It started as a normal conversation and initially I had a few apprehensions talking to him. A few thoughts were running in my head like he’s just a operator, why is that I have started a conversation with him. There’s no use talking to him, I will learn nothing and it’s a waste of time.

As the conversation grew, these thoughts left me and I learnt the most important lesson of my life. He started working at the age of 20 and has been doing the same job over 2 decades. I told him that I would have been bored within two months and what was that which kept him motivated all the time. He showed no emotion on his face as if it was his daily routine to answer this question. He asked me to take a wild guess.

I came up with a lot of random answers like good pay, working in his hometown, a good boss, friendly colleagues, Employee benefits, high morale etc. He asked me to stop giving text book answers.

I did shut up. I asked the same question to myself. Well, I couldn’t even think of that question as I was sure I wouldn’t do the same job for 2 months, forget 2 decades. I gave up and requested him to answer.

He smiled, I thought he had lost his mind.

“The biggest motivation of my life is Myself”

Was he kidding. No, he wasn’t.

I can never forget this conversation.

Curiosity took over. How can you be the motivation factor for yourself.

He laughed this time.

It was his turn to ask me questions

What is your goal?

I want to become an Entrepreneur.

Why?

Good question. Well, It gives me satisfaction.

Then he gave a very valid explanation.

This work gives me satisfaction and I was never bored in the last twenty years. I always try to find a better way of doing my process. Every small improvement gives me immense satisfaction. Many people like you laugh at me and go but it never had an impact on me. I understand that you don’t want to work for more than two months on the same process but it doesn’t mean that you cannot work on it.

 Suppose you change your process and start working. Will it be again for only two months?

Isn’t it important for you to like your work rather than criticize it. The common notion is to hate the job we do and we have a hundred reasons to hate it and not even a single reason to like it. Then, will there be any job in the world which will satisfy you?

For a moment, I thought I was listening to one of the motivational lectures in college. Every word was true and it was from the most unexpected person.

Yes, this is the story which changed the way I look at things. Satisfaction is something which can be obtained within and leaves a long lasting effect on us. We get satisfaction when we impress others but it doesn’t last forever. Had he changed his job based on what others think, maybe he wouldn’t have been what he’s today and maybe, I wouldn’t have found someone to inspire me for good. I met him at the right time and thankful to him for showing the right direction.

After this incident, whatever work I do, I do it with dignity and find self satisfaction in it.

Thank you, Sir.

And Happy New Year Friends  :-) 

My Odyssey with Nature-1 (Trek to Kudremukh)

This was my first trek in the year 2013. I had been to many treks before but none of them lasted for more than a day. Of course even kudremukh is a one day trek but we had to camp at the base and then visit a nearby falls the next day. So, I would rather call this a 2 day trek.

 

Note to the people who are looking for directions for their trek: I am very sorry to disappoint you. You are at the wrong place. There are many travel bloggers who give you minutest details about the trek. I am here to share my experience during the trek and not to provide any guidance.

 

The name Kuduremukha literally means 'horse-face' (in the local language Kannada) and refers to a particular picturesque view of a side of the mountain that resembles a horse's face.

 

 

Well, moving ahead. The trek was started on 25/01/13 (Friday night) and ended on 27/01/13 (Sunday morning). I have never been to any treks with a private trekking club before. This was my first experience with an outside club and also first time I went without my friends. It was with a bunch of unknown people I had decided to go with. There were three vehicles to take us.
 

 Before I came to the pickup point, I had spoken to an old friend (Girl :-P) of mine. We were, of late, talking more often and I was scared to make the first move. After the disastrous experiences before, I was now not in a position to get into any kind of relationship. This was a perfect getaway to relax and decide my next move carefully.

  

I got into the bus and found people chit chatting in groups. It didn’t take much time to find out that these people were colleagues/friends. I decided to occupy a single seat; well that was the only one left. And someone called me from behind. I turned around to see a foreign guy. I soon found out he was just like me, feeling like a lone drop in an unknown ocean. He introduced himself and we started a conversation. He was from Czech Republic.

 We started discussing about each other’s countries and we decided to use Wikipedia to aid our conversation. He explained me about his country and I realized there were lot of similarities between our countries and most of the words sounded like Sanskrit, maybe there was some distant connection sometime in the history.

I woke up very frequently while travelling and couldn’t catch a decent sleep. We reached early morning and jeeps were waiting for us to be ferried to the base camp.

 

 It was very cold and I was wearing a sleeveless sweater. It took a toll on me and after this trek I ensured to cover myself completely in the following treks.

 

 

I just washed myself up and saw around 30 people there. Breakfast was being served; it didn’t look good but tasted fine.

 

 

There was a self introduction and most of them were working in MNC’s. There were just four girls, well I was at the wrong place but had no choice. We were divided into 2 groups; I was part of the first group. We were given instructions about the trek, 16km up and down and other safety measures to be followed.

 I met a guy who had left his work and become an Entrepreneur. He was really irritating me with some senseless questions related to work. I told him we use normal excel sheet to make production plans, which shocked him. He spoke at length about the software’s which he develops. I wasn’t keen on his offers. Why pay millions of rupees for software whose job can be done on a priceless excel. He saw a girl and walked towards her. I was happy for her to take the burden of me.

The sun had just risen and the weather was good.

 

 

In no time, it started burning us. There were many amateurs who took breaks very often. I was instructed not to move and just wait for everyone. In a while, everyone split and walked at their pace. Clearly, the instructions were violated. After a while, sun took a toll on me.

 

 I was left with little water and it got over in no time. After a while, I couldn’t bear the heat. I was lucky to find some water flowing down. It was very fresh and I almost had a bath in there. One group was already resting there, like forever. It made me wonder whether this point was the end point for them. I moved on.

 

 

Now, people were scattered everywhere. In another 20 minutes, I was hungry. I was lucky to have no one around me. I ate an apple. It felt like bliss, it made me realize the value of food and thanked god for everything.

 

  I was back on track. It almost felt like I was in the oven. I was going to a trek after nearly 2 years and my work life had taken a toll on my body. I felt to have lost stamina. This was more of a “where I stand” trek as I had planned to conquer Kumara Parvata (Third tallest peak in Karnataka) the following week with my colleagues. I could no longer withstand the cramps and had to rest.

 

 

 I had a tough task. In no time, I stood up and started walking. A few villagers were sitting and enjoying the fun. One of them shouted, “Are you tired, maybe you should go back?” and it was followed by laughter riot from others. I just smiled and continued my ordeal.

In some time, I reached the peak but found a guy still walking further without realizing it was the end. Of course it’s a mad world we live in. He returned after few minutes. Anyway, mission accomplished.
 

It took another thirty minutes for others to come over. Well, I wasn’t bad as I was just the second person to climb up. This made me happy. So my stamina is still good. I heard people couldn’t bear the sun and rested often and a group of people had returned as they couldn’t bear the heat.

 

 

All of us had lunch together. Most of them went to the shades and rested for a while. There was an old ruined church, I went there and explored for a while. I couldn’t find anything worth mentioning, just the picture below.

 

As the rules were being violated by everyone, I didn’t have to tell anyone to get down. Four of them joined me. The downward trek was in the evening and the weather was normal. We just rested once, at a place where water was flowing. We had a water massage (Term given by one of the fellow trekkers) for our legs.
 

 

 The return journey was almost eventless till we found two different paths.

 I analyzed for a while, I could see shoe marks in the opposite direction. So, it had to be the way. It was just common sense. Soon, my entrepreneur friend joined us and told he was very sure that the other path was the right path. Some of them joined him and started walking that way. The foreign guy and the girl (Who had earlier helped me from him) followed me. We reached in twenty minutes and had hot snacks which were awaiting us.

Soon, people started gathering but still there was no sign of the guy. I was too tempted to crack jokes on him but had to control myself. After exactly two hours, his group came. Well, he never spoke to me after this incident. There was a camp fire and a few people played games and some of them were narrating their previous trek experiences.

 

 

 We camped in there, had dinner before sleeping and woke up early morning. We had the same breakfast as the previous day.

 

We were informed that we would be taken to a nearby falls, after we which we would be taken back to our city.

This was the first time I ever entered into waters at a water fall (Well, I don’t know swimming). I was told the depth was not more than 4 feet. I thoroughly enjoyed the time there.

 

 

 After which, we returned back as was told.

 

This was probably the only trek I felt hostile. I don’t blame others but probably the organizers could have handled things better. I was charged probably four times higher than the actual cost. This is when I decided not to go with a private club. It is the journey that matters and not the end result. Overall, it was a nice experience. Well, the only trek I didn’t talk much.