Change is Constant

Yes. It has been a while since my last post. I started my professional blog and was busy with that. Now that I have taken a hiatus from it, time is back again to share my thoughts and experiences.

Change has been a constant companion of my life, probably all of our lives. Whether we wish for it or not, change is constant. 

I used to always try and classify changes as good and bad. The more I try to analyze them; they fell in the latter bracket. And then I started experimenting it, I tried to find at least one positive from the change. Surprisingly, I was successful and found many. Now, I believe that it's in one's perception of analyzing a change to be good or bad and we are right in whatever our conclusion is!

What if the change hurts us? (As it happened with me yesterday)

I was fortunate enough to come across this in Holy Bible. 

“Have no fear, for I am with you; do not be looking about in trouble, for I am your God; I will give you strength, yes, I will be your helper; yes, my true right hand will be your support”.

Isaiah- 41.10

When things go out of hand or when there is nothing that we can do, all that we can do is believe in faith and hope for good.

This will definitely help.

I want to share two incidents which made me believe in faith and taking change as a positive thing in life.

Incident 1: 

This incident happened 3 years ago. It was during one of my treks, everything seemed well in the beginning. As the day progressed, unforeseen events took place. Everything changed dramatically, we lost our way back, a few lost hope of returning back and others were just trying to decipher the incidents happening around us. I was somewhere in the middle of the group and had mixed emotions. I knew there was nothing that I could do apart from being positive and hoping for good. It happened such that I became more and more restless and went ahead of the group. 

I was expecting this to be just another normal trail but it was confusing when we saw many such trails leading to nowhere. One had to just believe in intuition rather than logic. The more we tried to logically conclude a particular path, we failed miserably. I badly wanted to somehow find a way back. I broke from the group and started moving aggressively to find a clue/ a lead back. As I moved ahead and ran a few paces, I abruptly stopped. I have no idea why I stopped. I took a couple of steps forward and saw a steep inclination, I knew I was saved. I looked back to see if there was any one behind me, no one was there. Had I fallen, probably no one would have ever known.

 My friends came there a couple of minutes later.

I didn't tell them of the incident as it would have brought the morale down which was already low in the group. In the next few minutes, we found a lead back to base and were happy to have made it.

Even now, if I try to think back what made me stop, I don't have an answer but just the feeling that there must have been a power which saved me and this is the faith I still in believe in. 

Incident 2:

Sometimes, we tend to think that we must stay the person we are and should not change for the sake of others. A deeper analysis into this throws a different light. We are not what we really think we are. It is just an image of what we constantly think of ourselves to be. The way we interact with different people is very different; we try to reflect a part of that person to him/her. This way, we reflect the mindset of others and forget the fact that our interests could be something else. 

There is one person who used to annoy me a lot. The funny thing is that he doesn't realize that he's annoying me. As the days progressed, he tried to occupy my personal space and started dictating things to me. I couldn't ignore him as he turned out to be my new supervisor. The more I tried to explain him the fact that I needed some time alone to complete my task, the more he tried to interfere in my work. Well, of course I tried but couldn't take any positives from this. This was a peculiar problem of its kind and had repercussions to a large extent. 

I decided to tell him that this must stop or working together could be a problem. He has his justification that he wanted to monitor my work closely. I never expected such a change. Day in and day out, there was a shadow following me. This slowly started to have a psychological bearing on me. I slowly started to understand that nothing will change if I don't act and didn't want someone else to control my life.

This change is not something I was willing to accept and there was no positive to take from it. When life throws up challenges as such, holding on to faith and expecting miracles to happen wouldn’t serve the purpose. We must act; action is the key to solution. Running away from the problem is not the solution.

I asked him to change, I protested, it resulted in a fall out. I didn't want to give up. It did have a professional effect which I had anticipated but I am a lot satisfied now.

In the end what matters is the satisfaction and happiness in what we do. Impressing a person to get temporary happiness in the form of attention/promotion/ monetary gain will not last long. The following two quotes sums up everything.

                                                   

A Thing Called Relationship

After enjoying a weird week with a weird friend with a lot of weirdness, well, my life is back to normal. The goal is within sight now.

People always complain me of being different from them and see me differently. I wasn't born different, I chose to be different. I have tried but couldn't get along with people. They called me an ‘introvert’. I accepted it.

I was never able to stay with one group of people. So, no one cared for me. I was stereotyped. People just saw parts of me and assumed I was like this and like that. They didn't know that what I showed them was what they deserved and not what I am.

Why should I blame myself for not being able to cope up with the crowd?

I am not wrong. The whole crowd is wrong. Yes, I know that I don't talk superlative, cool stuff. I don't go to parties, I don't dance. So, I am that obnoxious little nerd. You call me anything, I don't give a shit. The truth is I am bored of these people and I cannot be one of them.

 They tell you must compromise on a few things to maintain a healthy relationship (read it as all relationships, not just with a girl!). I want to do the things I like. Why should I compromise? I live my life, not their's. Yes! Now I was called stubborn. The world has a hundred opinions about you. If you react to each of them, you just lose hundred chances to make your life awesome.

  This weirdness in me was the main reason to not have a stable relationship with anyone. I had discrete relationships all my life (So far!). I was never able to gel with the ‘normal’ people (funny they call themselves normal!). This made me wander from one ethnicity to another. People called me a ditcher. I smiled and replied, yes I am.

 It is always important to balance the logical and emotional quotients in us. I don’t believe in fairy tales. We abuse a friend and respect a boss. Technically, heart trusts a friend and abuses a boss.

Love a girl but marry her if you are logically satisfied with her. I might be sounding rude but these are the lessons I have learnt from married people :P

 Parents are always our caretakers and might influence our lives to a great deal. It is sometimes required for us to go towards what we want than what they want. My mother always wanted me to be in the safe path. If I had chosen that path, I could have not been where I am today and she graciously accepts this fact.

 And finally to summarize, I never got along with my friends and never listened to my parents. This turned out to be my normal self but abnormal to others.

 An opportunity comes in everyone's life which decides our future. A few realize it but let it go; rest of them never realizes it. There are the other “select few” who realize and leave their comfort zone to chase their dreams.

 I was quick to recognize this opportunity (As I shared in Goal- The story of my life). Now, the next question was how to pursue it. Google cannot answer everything. I remembered one of the famous quotes.

 “If you don't work towards your dream, you will have to work to fulfill someone else's”.

 This statement mocked me every day. I felt helpless many times. I reached a lowest point wherein I presumed it's better to work for someone else and find happiness rather than worry every now and then. This is the time when we think of family and friends. It hurt me more now than ever. I hated myself for not maintaining a good relationship with my friends and for not following the safe path my mother made for me.

 A few months passed and I regretted for few things I had done and for the most things I hadn't done. If you leave hope in your life, even the hope doesn't hope for you. 

 Then a thought passed my mind. Of course a stupid thought. My brain had long back given up the art of thinking creative things. I wanted to find a good life partner to achieve my dreams. Yes, you can laugh at this stupid thought :P. I dated a few girls who were more bothered about make up and flowers rather than goals and dreams. I spent more time talking but not executing ideas. Well, the talks weren't great either. A few conversations are listed below.

She: The weather is very romantic; we must go for a walk in the park.

Me: It might rain, it's better to stay indoors.

She: Weekend J J. We will go for a movie and then dinner.

Me: Listen to this awesome idea!! This venture will surely work…

She: You are so disappointing.

She: Today is favorite color day. Which color do you choose?

Me: Red.

She: Nice J J. Bring me red roses.

Me: You meant color day right and not flower day?

She: I hate you, you are a nerd.

 It was disastrous. I tried hard, everything failed. Maybe, it was meant to fail. I learnt a lesson; wife is a liability if you choose the wrong one.

 The black days continued. My desperation had no meaning and I started living my life in hostility.

 As is always the case with Gods, they appear after the man has lost all hope and has decided to ignore everything in life, this happened in my life too. Yes, the Gods came but the weird ones. These weird ones were just as weird as me. They make you feel one of them. They share the same weirdness and thoughts as you have. You really cannot fight with them, how can you fight with yourself?

  I met a guy who taught me how to get over failures. Rather he taught me how to enjoy failures. He's the silent guardian the world deserves but doesn't need. Because the world doesn't know it needs him. I generally don't get motivated by anyone. He is one of the few who can motivate me. We met only once in person but meet regularly online. The insights we share have been very helpful to me (maybe to him also). It makes a lot of sense to meet the right kind of people and enter into the right relationship. No, I am not gay with him. We share a common mindset, the weird mind set. This keeps us going.

 This weird guy introduced me to another weird person, a weird girl. We formed a team called Southern Scouts (I didn't try to find out why he named it so). She has been very instrumental in understanding me and guiding me in the right direction. She’s basically a busy girl but doesn't mind sparing some time for the people she cares. She calls herself the mad hatter (for reasons known only to her :P). Did I reveal too much?

Anyway, she is the secret person who is working for my success.

 I thank these two people and many others who have molded my life. The seed is sowed and now is the time for the plant to grow.

Final note:

 

The point is I am into the right kind of relationship, the weird relationship. Everything happens in life for a reason. There’s nothing wrong in getting disappointed. We must fall to learn to pick ourselves up. I know it sounds very weird to talk about weirdness right after posting an article about how Weirdness Makes Life Beautiful. After all it was a weird week, wasn't it?

(If you didn't get it, go back to the first line J)